By Dan Reiland
If you don’t invest in friendships, you may end up traveling through life alone. The encouraging truth is that great relationships are not that difficult. They require time, love and the willingness not always to get your way.
John Maxwell has been a great friend and mentor for over 35 years. I’m so grateful for his love, belief, and investment in me.
He has taught me so much about relationships over the years; I could fill a book. But for now, I’ll share just ten of my favorite principles with you.
10 Great Relationship Principles:
1) We see people through our own lens.
Your self-awareness, self-esteem, and self-perception establish the foundation of all your relationships. The way you view yourself and the way you see life shapes how you see and relate to others.
Whether you see the cup as half full or half empty will transfer every time.
When you invest in yourself, your personal growth and maturity, your relationships will always improve.
2) People don’t care how much you know, till they know how much you care.
Caring about people isn’t automatic. Not everyone cares. I’m sure you’ve run into people along the way that it’s clear that they just don’t care.
You can’t learn to care, it’s not a skill, but you can decide to care. You can ask God to help you become more caring.
If you want to lead for the long-haul, it isn’t enough to be great at what you do. If you don’t sincerely care about people and live in such a way that you demonstrate it, your leadership will suffer.
People don’t care how much you know, till they know how much you care.
3) Listening from the heart changes things.
One of the greatest gifts you can give to anyone is to truly listen.
We are often in a hurry, there is so much to do, right? So, when you slow down for a minute or an hour and truly listen, you communicate that you value that person. It can be life-changing for them.
Listening from the heart requires the ability to make a soul level connection. You communicate empathy, interest and a desire to be helpful far more by listening than merely by your words.
4) Believing the best in people usually brings out the best of people.
Even a broken clock is right twice a day. Sorry, but I love that corny line because it’s true! What you look for you will find.
I was surprised one day when asked why pastors and people only say the good things about someone at their funeral. Why would you want to emphasize someone’s shortcomings?
We are all flawed and imperfect, but when someone calls out the best in us, we often rise to that higher standard.
5) People who are hurting hurt other people.
When the response to a situation is greater than the issue at hand, the real issue is always about something else. The wise leader learns how to get to the real issue.
People who are hurting don’t necessarily want to hurt people, but it’s like a lion with a thorn in his paw, he can’t help it. If we can help people take the thorn out, we can help them live better. In turn, if you are in a relationship with them, your life becomes better too.
*This article will continue in the next post.